NOTHING TO FEAR: YOUR SHADOW IS NOT A BURDEN

8th March 2025 was International Women’s Day, a moment to celebrate progress, to honour the strength and spirit of women across the world, and to recommit ourselves to building a future where everyone is seen, valued, and included.

It was a day of both pride and hope. And yet, in that same moment of forward movement, there remains a more complex conversation that must also be held, an uncomfortable truth, only becoming increasingly prevalent, one must be faced head-on. It is too dangerous to ignore.

More and more, we are reading, hearing and learning about a growing sense of discomfort, particularly among young men, who feel that the shift towards equality has created a new kind of imbalance. They argue that feminism has “gone too far”, that the scales have tipped against them, and that they are now the ones being left out or left behind. It is too easy to dismiss these voices. We mustn’t. Because behind the frustration lies something human: the need to feel secure, valued, and purposeful in a world that is rapidly and acceleratingly changing.

The narratives are familiar: We can’t speak freely. We’ve lost our place. They took our jobs. That women now have too much power. And these thoughts are no longer whispered on the fringes; they echo in classrooms, offices, WhatsApp chats, and digital spaces where many are trying to make sense of a world that they feel is both foreign and unwelcoming.

Often, this unease reaches beyond gender, directed towards people of colour, immigrants, LGBTQ+ individuals, those of different faiths. A perception grows that progress for some must mean disadvantage for others. That inclusion in one space means exclusion elsewhere. That being asked to share space is the same as being pushed out of it.

But this is not about loss. It’s about the need for growth. About widening the circle so that everyone, correctly everyone, has a place.

For generations, women and many others whether people of colour, LGBTQ+ communities, non-Christians, those positioned outside the traditional mould, have moved through systems that were not built with them in mind. Systems where they’ve had to work harder, fight to be seen, and often carry more just to feel safe, let alone equal.

So, what some men are feeling today is not actually oppression, it’s unfamiliarity. A sense of uncertainty in how to belong in this new chapter. And that’s comprehensible. Change is seldom comfortable. However, discomfort isn’t the same as being wronged. It’s simply the feeling of being asked to grow.

When you’ve never had to question your place, equality can feel unsettling. And even a threat. But it is not an attack. It is a rebalancing; one that allows more people to stand, speak, and share. That’s not something to fear. It’s something to welcome.

We’re seeing this unfold in real time. The recent Netflix series Adolescence, a growing global phenomenon now reaching over 70 countries, offers a profound examination of social media’s detrimental effects on youth, particularly young men. It reveals how susceptible boys are being radicalised online by voices fostering misogynistic worldviews. The series also highlights the stark mental health implications of social media, including anxiety, depression, and body image crises. It portrays how cyberbullying can escalate to real-world violence, and how algorithms nudge users toward toxicity. Most importantly, it underscores the urgent need for digital literacy: for parents, teachers, and young people alike, to ensure social media becomes a space for growth, not harm.

Collectively, Adolescence stands as a sobering reminder of the fragility young men feel today, and how easily that fragility can be manipulated. But it also reminds us that they are not lost causes. We need to see what the real issue behind their thoughts and actions is: they are searching for meaning, for belonging, for ways to matter.

This moment in history is offering all of us, especially men and boys, the chance to reimagine strength. Not as dominance, but as presence. Not as silence or control, but as care, responsibility, and honour.

To the young men reading this: you are not under attack. You are not losing your value. You are being asked to step into a new kind of power, one that is shared, grounded, and earned. You don’t need to prove your strength through dominance. You don’t need to mimic cruelty to find confidence. You are being asked to evolve. To think critically. To act with integrity. To stop blaming and start building. You do not need to compete for dignity. You do not need to mirror harshness to feel strong. You do not need to carry the weight of other people’s success as your own failure. This is not about blame. It’s about becoming, choosing who you want to be, not just in your own life, but in the world, to shape, together.

The truth is: no one is coming for what’s yours. What’s being asked is that we recognise what was never ours alone. Stop blaming women, immigrants, Black people, gay people, trans people, Muslims, whoever you’ve been told is the reason that life now seems foreign and indifferent to the identities that were once believed as default. They are not your enemyAppreciate that safety built on exclusion isn’t safety. It’s weakness. Learn how to share space, voice, and opportunity not as a threat, but as a collective gain.

Yes, there are those who will try to sell fear, division, or resentment, figures who promise control or validation in exchange for anger. But their version of strength is hollow. Real strength doesn’t need to shout. It listens. It learns. It adapts. It holds itself accountable. And it lifts others as it rises.

The boys who are turning to frustration or even hate are not lost causes. That is why we must meet them with truth, compassion, and care. We must show them, not through lectures, but through understanding, that there is in fact another way. A better way.

If you are a man navigating this moment, know this: you are not expected to be perfect. You are simply being asked to be present. To reflect. To grow. To hold space without needing to fill it. To become someone who leads not through fear, but through empathy.

Let’s talk not only about the progress that society around us has made. Let’s have honest, conversations about identity, responsibility, and collective purpose. Let’s replace self-pity with self-awareness, and grievance with growth.

Because equality is not a threat. It is a gift, one that frees all of us to be more human, more connected, more whole.

And if that feels uncomfortable then maybe, just maybe, it is the beginning of something good.